Friday, December 12, 2008

fourth installment of why i hate retail

customer: what does this ring up as?
me: 9.99
customer: oh, the clearance tag says 15.99
me: yep, all discounts are taken off the original price
customer: really?
me: mmhmm...every sign in the store says that
customer: so there's no way to go off the clearance tag?
me: well if you want me to ring it up at the clearance price, i'd be more than happy to do that but you'll be paying $6 more...
--customer decides to take a break off to the side to think about it--
customer: so do i get like 75% off displays?
me: no, all displays are sold as is at whatever discount it's at
customer: even though it's a display?
me: (am i stuttering??) yes. even though it's a display.
customer: i don't really get that.
me: ma'am, we are no longer owned by linens n things. the sign on the door may say 'linens n things' but we're owned by gordon brothers which is the liquidation company. The liquidation company does not allow us to take any additional discounts off of anything whether it's broken, a display, or has missing pieces.
customer: ok but the clearance tag for the other one says 15.99 so can't you just take 50% off that?
me: and we're back to that. no, we can't. ALL signs say discounts will be taken off the ORIGINAL price therefore off of 19.99 and your final price will be 9.99. I can call a manager up here to talk to you but he's going to tell you the exact same thing i've been telling you.
customer: no...i just don't get it.
me: taking the 50% off of the clearance price only saves you 2.50. it's not that much... (in my head: two dollars and fifty cents should not be the deciding factor on whether you get something...if you can't afford the 2.50 to begin with, maybe you shouldn't get the wine dispenser at all...just a thought)
customer: well yeah but i could say the same thing to you, it's only 2.50 so why can't you give it to me?
me: because i'm already giving you 50% off. not to mention the fact that i'm not ALLOWED to do that nor is my manager.
--customer decides to take a couple more minutes to mull things over--
customer: could you call your manager up here?
me: sure (*calls curt*)
--curt rolls eyes as he walks to front, i laugh internally--
me: this woman would like 50% off the clearance price on this wine dispenser. i've already explained to her that all discounts are off of original prices and the clearance sticker no longer applies but she wanted to talk to you.
curt: i'm not sure what else i can tell you...
customer: so i can't even get 75% off the display?
curt: no
me: (ma'am, this isn't mexico, you can't barter)
customer: but the tag on this one says 15.99 so why can't i get 50% off that?
curt (who, by the way, has become increasingly short with customers and is fun to watch): because all the signs say discounts are off the original price. you can see the original price is 19.99, a clearance price is not an original price.
--customer stares blankly--
curt: if the clearance price was lower, i would be more than happy to give it to you but it's not. if you really want the clearance price that badly, i can give it to you for 15.99...otherwise we can keep it at 9.99. your choice. (said as he's walking away)
--customers stands around for another couple of minutes before deciding to leave without purchasing said wine dispenser or display--
me: peace out!

me: thank you for holding, how can i help you?
customer: yes, you sell mattresses there?
me: we are selling display mattresses, yes.
customer: ok, how much is a queen size?
me: we only have full size and they are $90 for the mattress, box spring, and frame.
customer: oh so a full size is like a king size right?
me: no, a full size is like a full size.
customer: i don't get it.
me: a full size is not the same size as a king size
customer: oh, well what is it like?
me: (umm...a full size?? really??) it goes twin, full, queen, king.
customer: oh. ok thanks.
me: mmhmm

me: Thank you for calling Linens N Things Roseville-how may I direct your call?
customer: yeah, i was wondering if you could check on something for me?
me: what were you looking for?
customer: yeah, you guys have some train sets I had a couple questions about...
me: ok, which one?
customer: oh, they were those trains that were at the front of the store this weekend.
me: right. (trying to stay patient) We have 3 different sets of trains, which one did you have the question about?
customer: oh. i get it.
(me: oh great, that makes me feel so much better!)

(p.s. i'm trying really hard to be as patient as possible with these customers but sometimes they are just so downright rude and don't care or listen that's it's hard. especially when all they care about is getting what they want for as cheap as possible without giving any regard to the fact that all of us will be jobless soon....with that said, i am nice like 98% of the time...the conversations you read are between myself and very disrespectful/rude or (i'll apologize ahead of time) incredibly unintelligent customers.)

1 comment:

Leslie said...

Ha! I love the "this isn't mexico you can't barter" comment I cant stop laughing... I've never worked in retail and think if I did I would be in jail...