Saturday, November 14, 2009

why

Well...Rascal Flatts has done it again.

when the sand runs out
what hurts the most
God bless the broken road


What do these songs have in common? They all make me think of Phil. I hear two beats into each one of these songs and my thoughts immediately go to my best friend. There are literally hundreds of songs that remind me of Phil--but RF always seem to have a song that fits exactly into what I'm feeling.

Their newest song is called 'Why'. As the 5th anniversary of Phil's death is approaching, this new song has touched me in ways that no other song has. I'm going to post the lyrics here (they alone will give you chills, I guarantee it--especially if you've lost someone to suicide). I highly suggest you find the song online and actually listen though...

I think a lot (if not, all) of Phil's friends and family have thought the exact words in this song. When you lose someone to suicide, I feel like the underlying question is always "why???" For me, that's all I wanted to know. I pictured the future. I pictured everything we were going to miss. And I always pictured Phil happy. But he obviously wasn't. So the hardest thing for me to think about was why. Why is this what he chose? Why did he want to leave? Why was he unhappy? And why didn't I know? I think those are pretty common questions for anyone.

Anyway...this song pretty much encompasses all of that.

Here are the lyrics (and if you get a second, say a little prayer for all of Phil's friends and family this Sunday--5 is a big one and it's hard to believe it's here already):


You must have been in a place so dark
You couldn't feel the light
Reaching for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd

Oh why, that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could have said or done
Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong
and why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song
mmmmm

Now in my mind I'll keep you frozen as a 17 year old
Rounding third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun

Oh why that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could have said or done
Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
Oh God only knows what went wrong
and why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song
Yeahhhhh

Now the oak trees a swaying in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
Tangled thoughts I hear the mocking bird sing
This old world really ain't that bad a place

Oh I there's no comprehending and who am I to try judge or explain
But I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight
They were wrong
They lied
Now you're gone and we cry
Its just not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song

1 comment:

Rachel said...

Good song. Great meaning.