*Padre is cleaning out the pantry and sticks a nutrisystem dinner on the table*
padre: I think that's bad...
me: well, you don't need to throw it out unless it's past the expiration date...it should have one on the bottom...
padre: oh, maybe it's ok
--I check the bottom--
me: Yep, March of 2008...definitely needs to be thrown.
(disclaimer: this story is especially funny because when I moved in, I essentially cleared out everything from his fridge. The rule was, if it's expired, it's got to go. Well...almost everything needed to go. And almost everything needed to be gone about 2 years prior to that...)
me: why don't you take those down? (referring to christmas pictures/cards from 2 years ago)
padre: why would I?
me: why wouldn't you? You get new ones every year...
padre: well...one of those might have your future step-siblings on there
me: If you're referring to Janelle, which I know you are, then no...it doesn't have my future step-siblings on there
padre: you never know
me: yes, I do...you're never getting married again. YOU said that.
padre: yeah, but that doesn't mean her kids wouldn't be your step siblings ever...
me: um...that's exactly what that means
padre: no...not if they moved in here
me: that wouldn't make them related to me..
--quiet confusion for a couple minutes--
padre: well, after 7 years, it would...
me: no...what you're referring to is a common law marriage...that does not make her children my step-siblings
following conversation via text...
padre: wilds are gettin kilt (fyi, this is a common fight in the swanson household...he doesn't understand that they are the WILD, not the wilds...and he also doesn't understand that kilt is a skirt some men wear and not an action...)
me: they're down by one
padre: yeah, but colorado had a goal disallowed
me: they're still down by one...
padre: did you read my previous email?
me: email or text?
padre: i think you know what i meant
me: I don't...and even if I did, I still wouldn't know what you're referring to