Padre ramblings

So, as you all know, I live with Padre Swanson. A few days ago Stefanie mentioned how she thought it would be fun to live with dad. Well, frankly...it is. So I've decided to start providing you all with entertainment via my conversation with padre. I had a few real good ones from tonight but now that we're home and I'm sitting here trying to think, they're just not coming to me....so if these ones aren't humorous to you yet, I'm sorry...but I promise they'll get better! Enjoy! (also, sometimes you just have to know my dad to understand some of these...)

*edit* As we're sitting here, dad just turned me to and said "do you want a pizza Melanie?" (Keep in mind, we just got home 15 minutes ago from dinner). "No, dad..." "Are you sure?" "yes, I'm sure." "Ok...cuz if you wanted a pizza, I'd order you one." Does anyone else besides me wonder where he gets it from sometimes?!

--on the way home from dinner at Zantigo--
dad: Oh Melanie! We could have gone to White Castle for dinner!
me: That we could have...
dad: well, we could still go
me: dad! we cannot go to White Castle right now
dad: why not?!
me: we're trying to be healthy!
dad: so?
me: so a) White Castle is *not* healthy and b) we JUST ate dinner
dad: White Castle is healthy...they steam their burgers...
me: ok even IF that were true, we JUST ate dinner


dad: once again, your dad is right
me: why? because you decided?
dad: no...because i'm right
me: dad, you could tell me the sky is pink and believe it
dad: but the sky isn't pink, the sky is blue
me: right. that's my point.
dad: so why would i say the sky is pink when the sky is blue?
me: what i'm saying is, if you decided that the sky was pink even though it's blue, you would tell me it's pink and think you were right
dad: Melanie, the sky is blue right now. But sometimes the sky is pink and if the sky was pink, I wouldn't say the sky was blue but I would say the sky is pink. But since it's blue right now, I would say it was blue right now and then I would be right. So I don't think your theory works.
me: do you even know what you just said?

dad: melanie, want to come take my socks off for me?
me: no.
dad: melanie, i'm asking nicely.
me: and i'm declining nicely.
dad: alright, i guess i'll just have to throw them in your face.
me: if you do, i'll go get my sweaty sports bra and throw it in your face.

dad: Melanie, come try this herring.
me: ew dad, I don't like fish.
dad: you made me try those pita chip things and I didn't like them!
me: first of all, they were veggie chips...second of all, you DID like them...and third of all, they were a form of chips and you like regular chips so its not that much of a leap. I don't like fish.
dad: here, come eat some.
me: no!
dad: herring gives me gas

me, on a regular basis: do you even understand what you're talking about?!