Tuesday, February 17, 2009

when I'm bored, when I'm watching tv, when I can't sleep...even when I blog, I...


There it is. That's my downfall.

The two most important aspects to getting--and staying--healthy are: exercise and eating right. Well here's the deal. I don't have a problem with the exercise portion. In fact, I love working out. I feel really great and really confident in myself when I'm working out (endorphins anyone?) Seriously, the whole "when you work out, you just feel better" theory is actually true. When I leave the gym, I feel healthy. I feel in control of my body. I feel confident. I just feel happier, believe it or not.

However, when I'm not working out, I have that little tiny devil-Melanie sitting on my shoulder. And instead of just simply flicking the devil off my shoulder, I let it sit there. I hear myself thinking "well...I did just work out...why can't I have some chips?" Or "well as long as I only eat a little ice cream, it's okay." Or "ya know, I haven't been to Starbucks in a long time, why don't I go get a regular-sized exceptionally over-sized mocha?"

I find myself thinking that since I'm doing so good working out, why not treat myself to a little something? But I don't think it's really considered "treating yourself" if you happen to indulge on a regular basis. I'm being brutally honest--and truthfully, when it comes to my body and my weight, that's something I'm incredibly uncomfortable with. I mean, this is something a lot of people struggle with right? I know I'm not alone in this but sometimes I feel like I am.

On a daily basis, I've found myself praying for the strength to resist temptation. Kind of sounds pathetic doesn't it? "Hey God, please watch over my family, my friends. All the men and women serving our country, mothers and fathers who have lost their children, (and specific people I want to pray for that day). Also, why don't you go ahead and throw down some strength to stay away from the food?" I mean, it just doesn't sound right, does it?

But my goal in 2009 is to become healthier. Not to lose weight. Not to get skinny. Not to be a size 4. But to become healthier. I know that losing weight and, hopefully, a few pants sizes will come along with the territory of becoming healthier. But truthfully, I just want to be the healthiest person I can be-physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. And feeling great in the body God gave you can only help becoming a well-rounded, healthy-altogether person.

So. Don't ask me what the purpose of this blog was. Accountability? Responsibility? A million other things? How about "the start of the not bigger but better me"? Sounds good to me (but not so much the little devil-Melanie I just kicked off my shoulder).

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