Tomorrow's a new day

So. I officially decided I seriously need to get in shape. Not just lose weight but actually get. in. shape. And ya know what the big push is (stupidly)?? Looking at old pictures of myself...

I know I've never been "thin" by anyone's standards but I was definitely smaller than I am now...I think I'm probably the heaviest I've ever been and its totally been making me feel like crap! (Step numero uno: brutal honesty, right?) The thing is, I always find a way to justify it...ya know, like on days when I work both jobs...well it's just much easier to grab fast food in between jobs...or if I don't grab it in between, after I leave Linens N Things at 9:30 at night, I think 'oh...well...I didn't eat dinner and I'm starving so instead of going home and eating something small, I should just grab something on the way home'. WRONG. Not only does it hurt my waist line but it also hurts my checking account... cue slanty face.

Therefore. I am officially watching WHAT I eat, HOW MUCH I eat, and WHEN I eat. I need to start eating breakfast (which I've been good at lately) and I need to stop eating after 8 at night. IF I've been good for 3 whole days in a row, I can have a *small* dessert as a treat. If I'm not, then I punish myself (ha!)

Also, it's hard to exercise because a) some days I work straight from 7am-930pm, b) I don't have a gym membership and c) on the days where I don't work both jobs, I'm so tired I just want to go home and relax. I know...this doesn't justify anything. And here's the other thing (another 'excuse' in my head) but I hate, like absolutely HATE, running outside. I could run on a treadmill for like 3 hours straight (ok slight exaggeration, but still, for quite a long time) but after running outside for like 10 minutes, I'm tired and it hurts. Lame, right? And since I can't quite afford a gym membership yet, I need to find other ways to exercise.

So. My plan is.... I'm going to start out by doing 250 crunches a day (yes, every day, i will force myself!) I am going to lift weights every other day (I have about a million free weights at home), and I've found a few mini workouts you can do at home (even while you're doing other things)--such as doing calf raises on commercial breaks, etc. Also, my mom gave me some workout videos so I'm going to try and fit those in as often as possible--I won't have a set schedule since I don't have every night free--and I obviously will NOT be doing them when I get home from work at 930 at night!

But that's my plan for now. Honestly, I think my biggest issue is just portion control. It seems like something SO small but it's the biggest issue for me...and it sucks! Because if I just stuck to a serving size EVERY time I ate something, I bet i would start losing weight right away...that and not eating when I'm not hungry. If I'm bored, I feel like I should eat. If I'm out with people and I'm not hungry, I still feel like I should eat. So those are my two biggest hurdles and I'm going to put the most effort into controlling those.

Plus, I'm hoping that by vocalizing (err..typing?) this on my blog so the WHOLE WORLD knows (!), I will have to hold myself accountable. And hopefully everyone that's reading this will hold me accountable too! (Please? Pretty please?!) haha

Ok so that's it. this is the first time that I'm actually excited about being able to pull it off! So any words of encouragement and criticism (seriously) when I get off track would be much appreciated!!