customer: how many more days are you open?
me: 10 days
customer: oh. ok.
--continues to stare at me--(i know she's trying to process what day that means we're closing but instead of telling her, i just let her stare and watch her try to figure it out. i mean come on, i need some fun in my life.)
me: (3 minutes later as I get sick of her staring) we close the 28th
customer: oh great! (walks away)
...ma'am, if you wanted to know the DATE that we're closing, why didn't you just ask right away?
me: Thank you for calling Linens N Things, Roseville. How may I direct your call?
customer: you need to do something for me.
me: Let me just stop you right there sir. I don't NEED to do anything for you. You may ask for my help and I may choose to help you but I do not NEED to do anything for you. (yes I actually said that.)
customer: oh. right.
continuous conversations throughout the day:
customer: do you have ____ item?
me: no
customer: do you have ____ item?
me: no
customer: do you have ____ item?
me: no
customer: do you have ____ item?
me: no
customer: do you have ____ item?
me: no
customer: do you--
me: --chances are it's a no.
customer: ugh, this train is so expensive... (babbles on for 5 minutes about how expensive train is)
me: ok
customer: well if prices are going to go down tonight, i don't want to buy it yet.
me: --silence--
customer: are prices going down tonight?
me: no (and if they were, i sure as heck wouldn't tell you)
customer: i just spent a bunch of money here, can i have this cake pan as a gift?
me: --laughter so hard i can't even speak--
This conversation will entail a little story telling as well. I almost decked a little old lady today. Seriously. So, back story: this old lady walks up to me with a turkey fryer that she would like to purchase. She hands me a discover card. She then decides she would rather put it on her Target visa instead of her discover. I ask if she's sure she'd like it on this card and she says yes, to go ahead and put it on there. I do as told. I hand the little old lady her receipt and the following conversation ensues:
customer: oh wait, i have one of those 10% things
me: we no longer accept coupons anymore
customer: no but it's right here
me: that's fine but we don't accept them
--customer hands me a 10% coupon for Target--
me: ma'am, this is a coupon for Target
customer: no, but I can use it anywhere.
me: ok but not here.
customer: well why not?
me: we're in liquidation. due to a court order, companies that are in liquidation do not have to accept coupons.
customer: so if you weren't in liquidation, you would accept it?
me: yes, we would have.
customer: oh ok. well can you put it on my discover then? I'd rather have (some form of frequent flyer miles or bonuses or something)
me: no, i've already rung it through the register like you asked me to
customer: so you can't put it on my discover card?
me: no.
customer: well. if you guys weren't going out of business, i wouldn't be coming back here to shop then anyways!
me: that's unfortunate (said as i'm walking away)
Showing posts with label liquidation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label liquidation. Show all posts
Friday, December 19, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
fourth installment of why i hate retail
customer: what does this ring up as?
me: 9.99
customer: oh, the clearance tag says 15.99
me: yep, all discounts are taken off the original price
customer: really?
me: mmhmm...every sign in the store says that
customer: so there's no way to go off the clearance tag?
me: well if you want me to ring it up at the clearance price, i'd be more than happy to do that but you'll be paying $6 more...
--customer decides to take a break off to the side to think about it--
customer: so do i get like 75% off displays?
me: no, all displays are sold as is at whatever discount it's at
customer: even though it's a display?
me: (am i stuttering??) yes. even though it's a display.
customer: i don't really get that.
me: ma'am, we are no longer owned by linens n things. the sign on the door may say 'linens n things' but we're owned by gordon brothers which is the liquidation company. The liquidation company does not allow us to take any additional discounts off of anything whether it's broken, a display, or has missing pieces.
customer: ok but the clearance tag for the other one says 15.99 so can't you just take 50% off that?
me: and we're back to that. no, we can't. ALL signs say discounts will be taken off the ORIGINAL price therefore off of 19.99 and your final price will be 9.99. I can call a manager up here to talk to you but he's going to tell you the exact same thing i've been telling you.
customer: no...i just don't get it.
me: taking the 50% off of the clearance price only saves you 2.50. it's not that much... (in my head: two dollars and fifty cents should not be the deciding factor on whether you get something...if you can't afford the 2.50 to begin with, maybe you shouldn't get the wine dispenser at all...just a thought)
customer: well yeah but i could say the same thing to you, it's only 2.50 so why can't you give it to me?
me: because i'm already giving you 50% off. not to mention the fact that i'm not ALLOWED to do that nor is my manager.
--customer decides to take a couple more minutes to mull things over--
customer: could you call your manager up here?
me: sure (*calls curt*)
--curt rolls eyes as he walks to front, i laugh internally--
me: this woman would like 50% off the clearance price on this wine dispenser. i've already explained to her that all discounts are off of original prices and the clearance sticker no longer applies but she wanted to talk to you.
curt: i'm not sure what else i can tell you...
customer: so i can't even get 75% off the display?
curt: no
me: (ma'am, this isn't mexico, you can't barter)
customer: but the tag on this one says 15.99 so why can't i get 50% off that?
curt (who, by the way, has become increasingly short with customers and is fun to watch): because all the signs say discounts are off the original price. you can see the original price is 19.99, a clearance price is not an original price.
--customer stares blankly--
curt: if the clearance price was lower, i would be more than happy to give it to you but it's not. if you really want the clearance price that badly, i can give it to you for 15.99...otherwise we can keep it at 9.99. your choice. (said as he's walking away)
--customers stands around for another couple of minutes before deciding to leave without purchasing said wine dispenser or display--
me: peace out!
me: thank you for holding, how can i help you?
customer: yes, you sell mattresses there?
me: we are selling display mattresses, yes.
customer: ok, how much is a queen size?
me: we only have full size and they are $90 for the mattress, box spring, and frame.
customer: oh so a full size is like a king size right?
me: no, a full size is like a full size.
customer: i don't get it.
me: a full size is not the same size as a king size
customer: oh, well what is it like?
me: (umm...a full size?? really??) it goes twin, full, queen, king.
customer: oh. ok thanks.
me: mmhmm
me: Thank you for calling Linens N Things Roseville-how may I direct your call?
customer: yeah, i was wondering if you could check on something for me?
me: what were you looking for?
customer: yeah, you guys have some train sets I had a couple questions about...
me: ok, which one?
customer: oh, they were those trains that were at the front of the store this weekend.
me: right. (trying to stay patient) We have 3 different sets of trains, which one did you have the question about?
customer: oh. i get it.
(me: oh great, that makes me feel so much better!)
(p.s. i'm trying really hard to be as patient as possible with these customers but sometimes they are just so downright rude and don't care or listen that's it's hard. especially when all they care about is getting what they want for as cheap as possible without giving any regard to the fact that all of us will be jobless soon....with that said, i am nice like 98% of the time...the conversations you read are between myself and very disrespectful/rude or (i'll apologize ahead of time) incredibly unintelligent customers.)
me: 9.99
customer: oh, the clearance tag says 15.99
me: yep, all discounts are taken off the original price
customer: really?
me: mmhmm...every sign in the store says that
customer: so there's no way to go off the clearance tag?
me: well if you want me to ring it up at the clearance price, i'd be more than happy to do that but you'll be paying $6 more...
--customer decides to take a break off to the side to think about it--
customer: so do i get like 75% off displays?
me: no, all displays are sold as is at whatever discount it's at
customer: even though it's a display?
me: (am i stuttering??) yes. even though it's a display.
customer: i don't really get that.
me: ma'am, we are no longer owned by linens n things. the sign on the door may say 'linens n things' but we're owned by gordon brothers which is the liquidation company. The liquidation company does not allow us to take any additional discounts off of anything whether it's broken, a display, or has missing pieces.
customer: ok but the clearance tag for the other one says 15.99 so can't you just take 50% off that?
me: and we're back to that. no, we can't. ALL signs say discounts will be taken off the ORIGINAL price therefore off of 19.99 and your final price will be 9.99. I can call a manager up here to talk to you but he's going to tell you the exact same thing i've been telling you.
customer: no...i just don't get it.
me: taking the 50% off of the clearance price only saves you 2.50. it's not that much... (in my head: two dollars and fifty cents should not be the deciding factor on whether you get something...if you can't afford the 2.50 to begin with, maybe you shouldn't get the wine dispenser at all...just a thought)
customer: well yeah but i could say the same thing to you, it's only 2.50 so why can't you give it to me?
me: because i'm already giving you 50% off. not to mention the fact that i'm not ALLOWED to do that nor is my manager.
--customer decides to take a couple more minutes to mull things over--
customer: could you call your manager up here?
me: sure (*calls curt*)
--curt rolls eyes as he walks to front, i laugh internally--
me: this woman would like 50% off the clearance price on this wine dispenser. i've already explained to her that all discounts are off of original prices and the clearance sticker no longer applies but she wanted to talk to you.
curt: i'm not sure what else i can tell you...
customer: so i can't even get 75% off the display?
curt: no
me: (ma'am, this isn't mexico, you can't barter)
customer: but the tag on this one says 15.99 so why can't i get 50% off that?
curt (who, by the way, has become increasingly short with customers and is fun to watch): because all the signs say discounts are off the original price. you can see the original price is 19.99, a clearance price is not an original price.
--customer stares blankly--
curt: if the clearance price was lower, i would be more than happy to give it to you but it's not. if you really want the clearance price that badly, i can give it to you for 15.99...otherwise we can keep it at 9.99. your choice. (said as he's walking away)
--customers stands around for another couple of minutes before deciding to leave without purchasing said wine dispenser or display--
me: peace out!
me: thank you for holding, how can i help you?
customer: yes, you sell mattresses there?
me: we are selling display mattresses, yes.
customer: ok, how much is a queen size?
me: we only have full size and they are $90 for the mattress, box spring, and frame.
customer: oh so a full size is like a king size right?
me: no, a full size is like a full size.
customer: i don't get it.
me: a full size is not the same size as a king size
customer: oh, well what is it like?
me: (umm...a full size?? really??) it goes twin, full, queen, king.
customer: oh. ok thanks.
me: mmhmm
me: Thank you for calling Linens N Things Roseville-how may I direct your call?
customer: yeah, i was wondering if you could check on something for me?
me: what were you looking for?
customer: yeah, you guys have some train sets I had a couple questions about...
me: ok, which one?
customer: oh, they were those trains that were at the front of the store this weekend.
me: right. (trying to stay patient) We have 3 different sets of trains, which one did you have the question about?
customer: oh. i get it.
(me: oh great, that makes me feel so much better!)
(p.s. i'm trying really hard to be as patient as possible with these customers but sometimes they are just so downright rude and don't care or listen that's it's hard. especially when all they care about is getting what they want for as cheap as possible without giving any regard to the fact that all of us will be jobless soon....with that said, i am nice like 98% of the time...the conversations you read are between myself and very disrespectful/rude or (i'll apologize ahead of time) incredibly unintelligent customers.)
Monday, December 8, 2008
reason #3 why blah blah blah!
mini conversations at work that, while they may be short, are quite possibly the most annoying...
*disclaimer* most (and i stress the word most) of my responses are not what I actually have said to people...but sometimes you just can't help yourself!
me: thank you for calling linens n things, roseville. this is melanie, how may i direct your call?
customer: hi is this linens n things?
me: i'm pretty sure i just said that
...this one is quite frequent...but the best one yet is the person who asked if this was lnt and then said "ok melanie so i'm looking for..." ...if you heard my name, i'm pretty sure you heard the rest of my spiel!
me: thank you for calling linens n things, roseville. this is melanie, how may i direct your call?
customer: hi, i need you to look for the (insert brand name) comforter in a queen size for me.
...oh i'm sorry, i asked where i could direct your call, not what i could personally help you with.
customer: so....are all sales final?
me: no. the huge red, yellow and black signs that say "all sales final" are just a joke...we figured if we played our april fools day joke early, we'd really get you!
*this is a real conversation*
customer: are you guys going out of business?
me: no.
customer: oh what's with all the signs?
me: so you can see them then? they're not invisible?
customer: do you have anything in the back?
me: ma'am, half the store is empty and roped off..do you think we have anything in the back??
customer: can you tell me how much this will be?
*cue to a trash can that has a tag saying it's $99.99 and sitting right under a 40% off sign saying 'trash cans'*
me: math skills are beneficial in life..maybe you shouldn't have quit the third grade. it's going to be $59.99. ya know, cuz 100 minus 40 is 60...pretty easy. and not just for math whizzes like me.
customer: if i buy a display, do i get an extra discount?
me: because 60% off isn't enough for you?
customer: --any form of:--what's your severance package like/do you get a severence package/are you going on unemployment, etc. (ALWAYS asked by a man)
me: sir, i'm not exactly sure that's your business
customer: when do your prices go down next?
me: Thursday we don't know until the morning of
customer: is it always the same day?
me: thursdays no.
customer: how often do they go down?
me: every week.
customer: what day?
me: nice try. if i haven't told you by now, i'm pretty confident i won't be telling you at all...
*disclaimer* most (and i stress the word most) of my responses are not what I actually have said to people...but sometimes you just can't help yourself!
me: thank you for calling linens n things, roseville. this is melanie, how may i direct your call?
customer: hi is this linens n things?
me: i'm pretty sure i just said that
...this one is quite frequent...but the best one yet is the person who asked if this was lnt and then said "ok melanie so i'm looking for..." ...if you heard my name, i'm pretty sure you heard the rest of my spiel!
me: thank you for calling linens n things, roseville. this is melanie, how may i direct your call?
customer: hi, i need you to look for the (insert brand name) comforter in a queen size for me.
...oh i'm sorry, i asked where i could direct your call, not what i could personally help you with.
customer: so....are all sales final?
me: no. the huge red, yellow and black signs that say "all sales final" are just a joke...we figured if we played our april fools day joke early, we'd really get you!
*this is a real conversation*
customer: are you guys going out of business?
me: no.
customer: oh what's with all the signs?
me: so you can see them then? they're not invisible?
customer: do you have anything in the back?
me: ma'am, half the store is empty and roped off..do you think we have anything in the back??
customer: can you tell me how much this will be?
*cue to a trash can that has a tag saying it's $99.99 and sitting right under a 40% off sign saying 'trash cans'*
me: math skills are beneficial in life..maybe you shouldn't have quit the third grade. it's going to be $59.99. ya know, cuz 100 minus 40 is 60...pretty easy. and not just for math whizzes like me.
customer: if i buy a display, do i get an extra discount?
me: because 60% off isn't enough for you?
customer: --any form of:--what's your severance package like/do you get a severence package/are you going on unemployment, etc. (ALWAYS asked by a man)
me: sir, i'm not exactly sure that's your business
customer: when do your prices go down next?
me:
customer: is it always the same day?
me:
customer: how often do they go down?
me: every week.
customer: what day?
me: nice try. if i haven't told you by now, i'm pretty confident i won't be telling you at all...
Sunday, November 30, 2008
reason #2 why I hate retail/liquidation/customers/you get the idea...
So, obviously with Thanksgiving weekend, we have extended hours...therefore we were open until 10pm on Saturday. Mind you, after 6pm, we had in between 20-25 customers in our store. aka: not a lot. Basically, we had a really chill night--Cat was closing, pretty much all of the cool people were closing, the store was clean by 7ish and for the majority of the night, everyone was up at the register just hanging around and talking given the fact there was nothing to do...Cat even let me have a stool! (fyi, i was at the register for my whole shift--1-10:30--so needless to say I was incredibly bored and, given the lack of customers, really wanted to sit down!) So, anyways, pretty much a really fun night at work. Cue to the phone ringing at 9:53. The following is my conversation with a customer (the italics following what I really said is what I wanted to say):
me: Thank you for calling Linens N Things, Roseville--this is Melanie.
customer: you guys are open until 10 right?
me: yes, we are open for another 5 minutes (yeah but unless you're calling me from the parking lot, you're never going to make it here in time...)
customer: oh great, so can I give you a list of items I want for you to gather and then will you just set them aside for me to pick up tomorrow morning?
me: Umm...no, we can't hold anything. (And I'm also not your personal shopper)
customer: oh, so even if it's the end of the night and I'll pick them up tomorrow morning?
me: No, we can't hold anything. At all. For any length of time. (Especially because it's the end of the night--I've been here for 10 hours but please, give me your list and let me shop for you since I clearly have nothing better to do)
customer: Seriously?
me: Seriously.
customer: oh. well. can you tell me if you have the Isabella in a Queen size?
me: I'm sorry, I don't have anyone available who can look for you right now, you'll have to call back tomorrow. (I could have Krista check for you but since it is now 9:58 and we are closing the store, why don't you just come in and look for yourself?)
customer: Oh. So when do your prices go down again?
me: we don't know until the morning of. (please hang up now ma'am)
customer: so I have to call every day to ask?
me: Or you could just come in and look around. (If you want to piss off every person who works here, then yes, you "have" to call every day and ask)
customer: Well I don't want to come into the store if the prices haven't gone down.
me: Well I don't know what else to tell you ma'am, we don't know what day they are going down next. (Well I don't want to lose my job...sometimes shit happens)
customer: And you really won't take my list and put things aside for me for tomorrow?
me: I really won't.
customer: ok....well thanks i guess.
*click*
Seriously? Is it really that hard to come in and shop for your own stuff? Did you actually think that you could give me a list of things you want over the phone and I would shop for you?? Seriously?? Because, if so, well...I'm sorry....but you really are stupid. Especially the weekend of Thanksgiving--really?!
Just so you know--in case you think I sounded mean or anything--all of my coworkers and Cat were standing there listening to my side of the conversation and switching between laughing and shaking their heads in awe. Some people. Right?
me: Thank you for calling Linens N Things, Roseville--this is Melanie.
customer: you guys are open until 10 right?
me: yes, we are open for another 5 minutes (yeah but unless you're calling me from the parking lot, you're never going to make it here in time...)
customer: oh great, so can I give you a list of items I want for you to gather and then will you just set them aside for me to pick up tomorrow morning?
me: Umm...no, we can't hold anything. (And I'm also not your personal shopper)
customer: oh, so even if it's the end of the night and I'll pick them up tomorrow morning?
me: No, we can't hold anything. At all. For any length of time. (Especially because it's the end of the night--I've been here for 10 hours but please, give me your list and let me shop for you since I clearly have nothing better to do)
customer: Seriously?
me: Seriously.
customer: oh. well. can you tell me if you have the Isabella in a Queen size?
me: I'm sorry, I don't have anyone available who can look for you right now, you'll have to call back tomorrow. (I could have Krista check for you but since it is now 9:58 and we are closing the store, why don't you just come in and look for yourself?)
customer: Oh. So when do your prices go down again?
me: we don't know until the morning of. (please hang up now ma'am)
customer: so I have to call every day to ask?
me: Or you could just come in and look around. (If you want to piss off every person who works here, then yes, you "have" to call every day and ask)
customer: Well I don't want to come into the store if the prices haven't gone down.
me: Well I don't know what else to tell you ma'am, we don't know what day they are going down next. (Well I don't want to lose my job...sometimes shit happens)
customer: And you really won't take my list and put things aside for me for tomorrow?
me: I really won't.
customer: ok....well thanks i guess.
*click*
Seriously? Is it really that hard to come in and shop for your own stuff? Did you actually think that you could give me a list of things you want over the phone and I would shop for you?? Seriously?? Because, if so, well...I'm sorry....but you really are stupid. Especially the weekend of Thanksgiving--really?!
Just so you know--in case you think I sounded mean or anything--all of my coworkers and Cat were standing there listening to my side of the conversation and switching between laughing and shaking their heads in awe. Some people. Right?
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
reason #1 why i hate retail (especially liquidation)....and most of all, customers!!
*ring ring* (that's my pathetic phone)
me: Thank you for calling Linens N Things Roseville, this is Melanie, how may I direct your call?
customer: Hi, um, I was just wondering if you guys had a certain tablecloth...
me: Ok, what can I help you with?
customer: well, I was just wondering if you had any black tablecloths..
me: Unfortunately, we are all out of black tablecloths.
customer: oh. are you sure?
me: positive.
customer: well. um. can someone go check for me?
me: ma'am, I work in that section. We have no more black tablecloths.
customer: oh. well can someone just go check?
me: *trying really hard not to get frustrated but failing miserably* no ma'am, no one can go check because I personally know that we have no more black tablecloths.
customer: well...I heard that you guys got some trucks of stuff this week...could it be on there?
me: There were no tablecloths on either truck we got this week.
customer: Are you sure?
me: positive.
customer: well you got one today right? could it be in that stuff?
me: no...we have a list of what was on the truck and there were no black tablecloths.
customer: could you go check for me?
me: everything is in boxes
customer: ok could you go check for me?
me: no, i cannot go open 200 boxes to find out if there's a black tablecloth in there for you, especially because I already know there is not.
customer: oh ok. thanks!
me: *click*
Personally, I think I hung up about 3 minutes too late...oh and just for the record, this conversation was literally word for word.
me: Thank you for calling Linens N Things Roseville, this is Melanie, how may I direct your call?
customer: Hi, um, I was just wondering if you guys had a certain tablecloth...
me: Ok, what can I help you with?
customer: well, I was just wondering if you had any black tablecloths..
me: Unfortunately, we are all out of black tablecloths.
customer: oh. are you sure?
me: positive.
customer: well. um. can someone go check for me?
me: ma'am, I work in that section. We have no more black tablecloths.
customer: oh. well can someone just go check?
me: *trying really hard not to get frustrated but failing miserably* no ma'am, no one can go check because I personally know that we have no more black tablecloths.
customer: well...I heard that you guys got some trucks of stuff this week...could it be on there?
me: There were no tablecloths on either truck we got this week.
customer: Are you sure?
me: positive.
customer: well you got one today right? could it be in that stuff?
me: no...we have a list of what was on the truck and there were no black tablecloths.
customer: could you go check for me?
me: everything is in boxes
customer: ok could you go check for me?
me: no, i cannot go open 200 boxes to find out if there's a black tablecloth in there for you, especially because I already know there is not.
customer: oh ok. thanks!
me: *click*
Personally, I think I hung up about 3 minutes too late...oh and just for the record, this conversation was literally word for word.
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